Love shoudn't hurt


The Beat team   l   Views: 131

There has been a disturbing trend these past few months in Bela-Bela and the surrounding areas, which we would like to address.

Intimate partner violence, also known as domestic abuse, is a serious issue that can ruin and even end lives, and in the past few months, a number of women in the Bela-Bela area have been murdered, apparently by their intimate partners.

Aside from the obvious, which is that any death is tragic, the situation is also a concern because it speaks to a basic disrespect for the human dignity and lives of women.

Nobody has the right to end someone else’s life. Your lover is not your property. She is not something you can own and keep and destroy when you are angry.

Women are human beings, just like men are, and there is nothing that can possibly justify the murder of anyone at all, but especially not a person you are in a relationship with.

If you feel you might be in danger, contact the police. They are there to help you, and they will not turn you away. If you do not feel comfortable going to the police, there are a number of charities and non-profit organizations dedicated to helping battered and abused women and children. 

If you have children, do not fool yourself by thinking that you are doing a good thing for them by staying with an abusive partner. You are not. Many of the charities dedicated to helping people in your situation understand that you may need to bring your children with you, and will help you with that. 

If, on the other hand, you are an abusive partner … well, nobody ever really thinks they are abusive, do they? To simplify, then: if you have ever raised a hand in anger to a person with whom you are in a relationship, you are abusive. If you have slapped her, or hit her with your fist, you are abusive. If you have forced her to have sex with you, you are abusive.

If you are an abusive partner: get help.

There are resources you can draw on, people who can help you understand why you do the things that you do. There are ways to stop. You can be better than this.

Love should not hurt, and it is up to us to make sure it doesn’t.

10 months ago       25 May 2017